Missing Him
by Orokid
Summary: She misses him, more than Harry could ever fill the hole in her heart for.


_**Orokid:** Wow, it's been a Hell of a long time since I've written anything Harry Potter-ish. And, what makes it worse, is that it's not even my OTP for this universe, and that personally makes me very sad. Even so, I'm glad to have written anything, since I'm oddly not in the evil clutches of Lord Writers-Block. Nasty bugger, he is. That aside… Hmm… I guess weird things happen when you see part 1 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows._

_I actually hand wrote this out like… months and months ago, back in the final days of the movie being in theaters (my mom and I seriously had to go to a theater far from our home), but I've been really lazy so I never really tried to write it out until today, while going through my notebook filled with unfinished (and the few completed) fanfics, as well as the various ideas that I have to do this, that and all of the above. So, while fishing out things I hadn't typed out, I found this. Anyway… I'm kinda tired, and I'm known to repeat things and whatnot when I'm tired, so… yeah… I'll get on to the other stuff now._

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that has to do with Harry Potter. The books belong to JK Rowling, and the movies belong to Warner Bros., and I'm not either in name or company. I'm just a simple, random civilian with a random ability to write fanfics for no profit other than the fun it is to write it. If you guys want to sue the fun out of it, go for it. Fun is all I got._ :3

_By the way… this fic is that infamous scene from the movie. You'll know when you read the story which one that is._

**Missing Him**

She couldn't help herself from doing it, her eyes gazing over his three day stubble and darkened emerald eyes from the safety of the simple cot she was lying in. She could hear the fuzz of the local stations from the radio that had been positioned beside her bed, and yet her copper colored eyes remained upon the serious features of the man she remained in the tent with. _His_ brow wasn't as furrowed as the boy's before her was, nor were _his_ eyes as stern and filled with a past crammed with regrets and shame. She could quite easily pinpoint their complete differences as she quietly watched the one with the burden of the world on his shoulders.

His weren't so weighed down, sagging only when he saw her talking discreetly with another man, one whom he would instantly compare himself to. She could see it in his eyes, see his disappointment as he convinced himself he wasn't anywhere close to either boy he felt most threatened by. Looking back now, she knew that she should have done more to appreciate him, to build up his confidence as he tore himself down. And yet, what was done was done.

And he was gone. Probably forever.

The bushy haired girl choked back the tears that dared to well up into her eyes, turning her gaze down to the radio that was, for the moment, playing a simple tune instead of the usual name call of those who had been killed or missing since Voldemort and his crones had overtaken the wizarding government. For once, she felt glad not to hear them- that meant that his name had not been added onto the ever growing list, and that the enemy was briefly taking a breather from the stench of death. She felt her heart ache as she allowed the thought to cross her mind that she would never get to see him, touch him, hold him, tell him all of the things that she had stubbornly kept to herself for all these years.

She could still hear him screaming at them, at her, for things that had not, could not, would never happen. His face had been contorted somewhere between a frustrated anger and a jealous sadness, and he looked as though he might've cried as he acknowledged things that were his worries alone. Ever as she tried to tell him, tried to make him understand, he had already decided that things were ways they weren't and that he was not going to listen to reason. As childish as he had been, even if his words had been fueled by the curse of the necklace he wore, she truly couldn't blame him completely for all of it. After all, hadn't she thrown that flock of birds at him the year before? She knew very well how he had felt now, alone and hurt, unsure of the feelings that bubbled within, afraid to return and ask for forgiveness. While she knew a part of her would be angry, she knew that she could never truly give up on him or the friendship, perhaps even more, that they had.

But where did that leave her now? She was left gazing at the things he'd left behind, wishing that they could possibly return him to her one last time to say everything that had been left unspoken. But what if he would never return, never let her explain her hurt to him? Then, perhaps, whatever man she might meet after him would always be her second choice, someone she could never truly care for as much as she did _him_.

She tried to focus on the good times, trying to convince herself that all of their shared memories weren't for naught. Her chest ached in response, curious if she'd ever had those happy times with him ever again, knowing the answer much more than she'd like to. Whenever he was stubborn, he was rare to change his mind. That scared her more than the idea of someday having to tell him the truth behind her every action, every feeling.

There were footsteps, she realized, her ears perking up from the sound. After all the years they had spent fighting the forces of the Dark Lord, after all the missteps, wounds and near-death experiences, she had grown accustomed to flinching into action at whatever was coming toward her. She felt herself calm as her cinnamon colored eyes met the darkened emeralds, yet the sadness she felt did not leave her. Pulling her up onto her feat wordlessly, the dark haired wizard offered her a knowing, loving smile, reaching to pull the necklace from around her neck. Setting it onto the bed she had been on moments prior, he took her hands into his, causing her to sway to the tune playing despite her almost obvious thoughts about doing anything as of then. Ever without the depressive thoughts that had been brought on by the piece of jewelry, her heart still felt as though she had been completely wrecked from the inside out, and the hopeful smile upon her friend's lips as he tried to lighten the heavy mood seemed only to worsen it. Still, she allowed herself to join him, and soon the darkness in her thoughts lessened-

Until he had pulled her in close to him, hugging her against his chest, a smile on his lips as he reveled in the fact that they had found a sliver of joy in their grief. Guilt plagued her, burned her like fire against skin, and she couldn't stop herself from wishing, praying that the green orbs she was gazing into were a sky blue instead, and that the arms that held her were longer, stronger, freckled. Biting her bottom lip, she pushed down her thoughts the best she could.

If only he'd… Softly, her arms holding tight to the Boy-Who-Lived, she felt a tear escape from her stronghold, a single word- his name- whispered silently into the clothes of the man who tried to comfort her. _'Ron…'_

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_**Orokid: **__So yeah… first Harry Potter fanfic in forever. Feels nostalgic. And it's probably the last one out of me, but whatever. We'll see how that goes when the next movie comes out.  
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_Hope you enjoyed. As usual, here is the note asking or pleading or whatnot to review, but I understand if you don't. God knows how many times I've read a fic on the run on my phone and never really got the chance to review. If you need a reason… I'll just love you if you do. _X3


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